You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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