I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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