it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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