You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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