I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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