I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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