lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
This is my gift to your gina
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
