I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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