Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
did you just send me my own nude
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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