My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
