I just cut my nipple shaving
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Randomize
