No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
