All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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