She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
