were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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