new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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