you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
