Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I party with great urgency now.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize