Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
These tits shall not be calmed
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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