Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
