haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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