I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
