we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
