turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
