so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
