were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
