I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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