i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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