let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
