i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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