My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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