i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Use "feeling words"
Yay
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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