Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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