Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I love having hate sex.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
