I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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