Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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