we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
