I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
