Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
