What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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