I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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