I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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