I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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