he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
