Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
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