I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Randomize
