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p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize