Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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