kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
