so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
