her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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