oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Acid is not a monday night drug
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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