I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
