Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
