There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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