I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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