did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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