He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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