if i died would you start the facebook group?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
May the power of my ass compel you!!
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
