If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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