So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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