your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
two words: eviction party
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
