I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
