that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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