I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
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