Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
