There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
