So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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