just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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