I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
