I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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